Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Candy I Really Didn't Want at Halloween

Open the trick-or-treat bag after a long night's work of walking the neighborhood and it was like a candy Christmas. There were delights to be found in lollipops, chocolate bars, chewing gum, Sweet Tarts and the like. But mixed in all this confectionery gold lurked things that would make the hungriest dog or dad turn up his nose and walk away. Oh, we still ate them, for the most part.

But we certainly didn't enjoy them.

Here is my list of those candies that were definitely not desirable.


1. Turkish Taffy - I don't even remember why, but I did not like Turkish Taffy.



2. Red Hots - Never a fan of something that burned the insides of your mouth and tasted like pepper. That's not the point of candy.


3. Mary Janes - Yeah, we'd eat them in all their peanut butter chewiness. But they were free. I don't think we ever actually bought them at the store. Well, that is if we had more than a nickel to spend.


4. Black Licorice - The red was good. But black was something I avoided at all times. I've never liked Anisette for the same reason.


5. Candy Corn - It was pretty ubiquitous. I guess it gave the candy-giver the sense that perhaps they had hidden health qualities because they were modeled after a vegetable. But these pure sugar candies shaped like niblets didn't have much of a flavor beyond sweet.


6. Candy Necklace - These hard, sugar pills strung together had a very vague taste of fruit to them. They were really insipid and more reminiscent of plaster chunks than a decent candy.
 

7. Chuckles - Sugar-frosted, congealed jelly candies. Need I say more?


8. Circus Peanuts - Shaped like peanuts, colored like pumpkins, Circus Peanuts had the consistency of slightly set wallpaper paste and a kind of pukey banana flavor. Strange, very strange, indeed.


9. Necco Wafers - A big roll of disappointment. These hard, powdery wafers were similar to the Candy Necklace mentioned earlier. We'd suck on them, but they were so very unsatisfying.


10. Boston Baked Beans - The box says candy coated peanuts, but I seriously don't remember the peanuts at all.


11. Good & Plenty - More of that snarky licorice flavor and sticky chewy.


12. Mint Juleps - I didn't hate these too badly. They were a mildly minty, soft, taffy-like candy.


13. Taffy in Plain Wrappers - The best description I've read of these is that they tasted like burnt hair. And that's all I have to say about them.