This is Getting Funny

I, like many others, have received numerous emails from Nigeria, Ocean Bank, Gabon and so on, all purporting to want to send me millions of dollars or have me share in millions of dollars of tied up funds simply by becoming a conduit. They are, of course, scam emails. I just delete them, usually without reading them.

However, I happened to read down through this one and found it humorous (not that the writer was trying to be) for the effort the scammers are putting forth trying to conjure up a different angle. Here is the email in its entirety:


Federal Ministry of Finance.
Directorate of International Payment.
Liaison Office - Africa.

This email is to notify you about the release of your outstanding payment which is truly $4.7 million. The Federal Government scheduled a time frame to settle all foreign debts which includes Contract/Inheritance/Gambling/Lottery and other internal loans. News had it that over the past, numerous individual(s) who happen to be impostors (claiming to be individuals, banks and organizations) are claiming to release numerous sums of fund via numerous ways.

With the help of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission we have noticed that you have being asked to pay outrageous amount of money by these impostors for the transfer of your funds to you. We want you to stop all communication that has to do with these fraudsters who have been requesting unreasonable sums of money from you to release your funds which they do not have access to.

We have received a mandate and instructions of the President, Federal Republic of Nigeria: Umaru Yar'Adua (GCFR) together with the EFCC Nigeria, and the Federal Bureau of Investigation to commence the immediate release of your funds through one of the following payment options stated below depending on your choice:

1. Payment via Automatic Teller Machine (ATM card): This where you
will be sent an Automatic Teller Machine card also known as ATM card
(Debit Card issued by MasterCard). Upon receipt of your ATM card you
will be allowed to withdraw $10,000.00 per day by default and you are
given the option to increase the withdrawal limit of your card to a
range of $20,000.00 if you want.

2. Certified Cashiers Check or Bank Draft: In this case you will be
sent a certified bank draft or check signed in your favor which you
will deposit in your bank for it to be cleared within 3 to 5 working
days at most depending on your bank.

You are advised to select one out of the two options on how you wish
to receive your $4.7 million. Your ATM card or Check/Bank Draft will
be shipped via Fedex Shipping Company and would get to you within 2
to 3 working days at most.

DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANYONE UNTIL YOU READ THIS: The actual fees for shipping your ATM card is $96.99 but because Fedex have temporarily discontinued the C.O.D which gives you the chance to pay when package is delivered for international shipping as stated on their website:
http://fedex.com/us/international/irc/profiles/irc_ng_profile.html?gtmcc=us#C10

We had to sign contract with them for bulk shipping which makes the fees reduce from the actual $96.99 to $73.95 nothing more and no hidden fees of any sort!

You are advised to contact the dispatch officer responsible for the shipping of your Check or ATM card with the following information for shipping of your payment Check or ATM card.

Dispatch Officer: Michael Grizla
Email: michaelgrizla@gmail.com
Tel: +234-234-702-638-5998 and 011-234-702-638-5998

And provide him with the following information:

Your full Name...
Your Address:................
Home/Cell Phone:...................
Preferred Payment Method (Check or ATM):................

The dispatch officer will provide you with instructions on how you are to make payment of the $73.95 only for the shipping of your ATM card or Cashiers Check.

This measure is intended to stop the impostors you have erroneously been dealing with. You are to adhere strictly to the instructions above for more information contact the dispatch officer.

Remember that you are not paying any fees extra no matter what. Once again note that the actual Fedex Retail Price: $96.99 Your Price (Because of our contract signed): $73.95 ($23.04 Savings!).

Yours sincerely,
Mr. Jerry Lisbon
Cc: Senate President
Cc: All Foreign Payment Offices


Note: don't ever reply to emails like this. Delete them right away.