A Modest Proposal

The threading that takes place on Facebook has led to an enormous ball of yarn that can lead just about anywhere. One of my friends posted a link to a blog about the nature of viral YouTube wedding proposals.

While the blog isn't particularly well written or eloquent, it does make some good points.

It basically states that marriage proposals have become huge creative affairs caught on video with the intent of drawing enough traffic to make it go viral. And that the nature of true romance isn't in how a video track is laid down, but how a man is willing to lay down his life for his future wife.

The writer includes an example from his own father's proposal. I don't know if it was real or made up, but I think it provides a realistic contrast to what we find on YouTube these days.

I can see how the phenomenon of the theatrical proposal would have started. Some guys wanted to do something different, something unique and memorable to ask for their girlfriend's hand in marriage. In order to capture the moment, they had it video recorded by a friend or family member.

Then to be able to show it to friends, they uploaded it to YouTube where other people saw it as well, and it gave them the idea to do something similar, or to even top it.

And the snowball started rolling downhill.

Now it often seems like the point is the theatrical production of the proposal and how much of an audience it can generate as opposed to an agreement in kind between two people to share the rest of their lives together.

As for how I proposed to my wife, it was boring by comparison.

It was a dark, windy beach in southeast Georgia. The night was warm. We were the only ones there. There was no ring, no kneeling, no fireworks except for that which went off in my soul when she said, "Yes."

It was perfect.

And it was memorable.

Opportunities Lost

I should have dated more in college.

I don't mean the type of dating where one is searching for a mate, spouse or life partner. Just the type of casual dating where you get to know people better.

Many of my college friends are on Facebook, and I have struck up online relationships with several that I never really experienced during school. I knew them at school, chatted with them in the student center or somewhere on campus. But I think I missed out on really getting to know them beyond the simple, "hey, how's it going?"

I know that establishing a deeper connection with someone during dating can lead to intimacy in a relationship which ultimately could lead to lifelong commitment in marriage, and that certainly would have been a risk. I say risk because eventually I did find the woman I would marry, but that was later in life when I was in the Army. I'm not looking to replace her, but I still think that it would have led to deeper friendships with those women with whom I currently interact on the internet.

They are all married now as well. Most of their husbands are strangers to me, though I do know a few as they were also students at the same school I attended.

It's entirely possible that the hormones of youth would have turned such dating into a romantic prowl. And it's also probable that I view things quite differently now at 50 than I did when I was 20. Maybe it wouldn't have worked as I envision it could have.

But now my interactions with them are limited to whatever little snippets, posts and messages are swapped in cyberspace. I don't feel bad about this. I just wish I had taken the time to enjoy their company and learn about them beyond discussing homework or campus events.

That's all I'm saying.